I Am a Baby.
Born and raised in 21st-century Japan, in a perfectly ordinary household.
Not to brag, but we were your run-of-the-mill working poor. Which is why...
There’s no way in hell my room could be this big!!
Naturally, we couldn’t afford to hire a maid or anything like that. And no, my mom was definitely not a cosplayer.
…If she actually was, I think I’d die of rage.
I mean, come on. My mom’s already p— Wait, the moment I tried to think about it, a chill ran down my spine!
Puns aside... yeah, let’s forget that. She’s already hit the ○○-year mark.
Even if she bathed in Dom○ohorn Wrinkle, she still wouldn’t pass for a teenager.
More importantly—me? A baby? That’s gotta be a joke.
I was definitely Japanese. Or at least, I think I was.
For some reason, everything’s super hazy—I can’t even remember my name clearly—but I’m sure I had memories of living about twenty years or so.
Old man dies, inheritance goes to me… Yeah, I can still recite my multiplication tables, and I remember famous lines from Gundam.
Hmmm, Madam...
Would someone in their early twenties even know that reference? Whatever—don’t worry about it! Please!
Worrying is defeat, my friend.
Anyway, no zero-year-old baby should be able to think about this kind of crap!
"I think, therefore I am not!!"
…Yeah, I have no idea what that even means.
But seriously, one moment I thought I realized something, and the next—I was being shaken around like a cocktail in a shaker, squeezed and jostled in every direction.
And it hurt. I couldn’t move at all, couldn’t see or hear anything.
Then the fear crept in—was I gonna die like this, without understanding a single damn thing?
I passed out again…
Then I woke up, and hey, I was still alive! I felt so relieved I thought, “Oh man, it was just a dream!” and opened my eyes.
What I saw was… something like a white ceiling.
…Okay, no joke—if you ever actually find yourself in that kind of situation, there’s no way you’re gonna spout some famous line.
You won’t even manage a decent scream.
Your mind freezes completely, and your brain goes just as white as the walls around you—before you pass out again.
That’s how it went, over and over: wake up, pass out, wake up again.
Eventually, I started to regain some real thinking power.
My eyes began to focus properly, and what did I see there?
A maid.
“――……――. ……――――.”
Not only that—she had shimmering blue, almost translucent hair, and she was speaking in some kind of weird backwards language I couldn’t understand at all.
Triple combo.
While I sat there stunned, trying to process the mysterious language, in came another maid to deliver the final blow.
With real, moving, fluffy cat ears.
Her hair color was also pretty wild, but those natural-looking, twitching cat ears? Everything else just vanished from my mind.
I instinctively tried to pinch my cheek—but my hand wouldn’t move at all.
Only my eyes worked properly, and when I strained them toward my side, I saw another baby sleeping peacefully.
Probably just born, like me.
So ridiculously cute.
Her tiny little hand was all soft and squishy and—
Wait. Hold on.
What’s that other hand holding hers!?
The moment I realized it, a bolt of lightning shot through me.
No… Could it be? There’s no way, right? But… but still…
I kept going in circles, fighting off the idea, but the info flooding in through my gradually recovering senses only reinforced the truth.
There was no more denying it.
This is reincarnation.
I don’t know how many reincarnation or isekai stories are out there online now, but I never thought I’d actually become part of one myself…
Come to think of it, characters in those stories always say the same thing.
I guess this is what they call a “template.”
Once I accepted it, my heart felt a little lighter.
But with acceptance came more questions.
Like, how did I die…?
Typical question, right? But I don’t remember anything about that moment.
No memory of meeting some self-proclaimed god, either. No magical cheat powers bestowed upon me.
This clearly isn’t some virtual reality setup either—we don’t have that kind of tech yet.
But whatever, I guess I don’t need to remember how I died. It probably hurt like hell anyway.
My family that I left behind… If this is reincarnation, I’m probably never going back.
Even if I could, I’m someone else now.
…Sorry, everyone.
But seriously—I wish I’d at least met a god!
Preferably a goddess, or a cute girl, or adorable loli, please and thank you.
Old men, corporate-looking guys with armbands—hard pass.
If it was an okama… I’d punch him.
…Though I’d probably lose. Those types always turn out to be the strongest.
sigh… By the way, what kind of world is this, anyway?
If I had to be reborn, I’d love for it to be a world with magic.
And of course, cheat powers. I’d really like to use them someday!
Oho? I’m starting to get excited here~♪
Anyway, the baby lying next to me is seriously adorable~!
And the maids—no, maid girls—now that I get a better look, they’re super cute too!
As expected of another world!
My hype level is off the charts!!
And with those thoughts swirling in my head—
my new life in another world had officially begun.
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